


The Hatchetfield Helper

by ElderWhizzerBrown



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Crack, Gen, Reviews, Unconventional Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElderWhizzerBrown/pseuds/ElderWhizzerBrown
Summary: Welcome to the Hatchetfield Helper! This website is your best source for reviews of any locale in Hatchetfield. Feel free to drop a review or just browse the ones already posted, or if you feel so inclined, chat with other Hatchetfield citizens in our forum!
Relationships: Implied Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	The Hatchetfield Helper

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this forever ago with the intent to make it a longer thing, but the Starkid hyperfixation died down and I lost interest. Luckily, unlike most of my drafts, this still kinda works even though it’s short. I missed some lore with Nightmare Time and all that, so bear that in mind if I say something wrong. Oh, and it was inspired by the podcast Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, so consider listening if you haven’t.

**Starlight Theater**

_What happened with the meteor?_

Harper S. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This place is great and all, hence the five stars, but doesn’t anyone else remember it being hit by that meteor a few weeks ago?? It was completely destroyed??? It was on TV and everything? I asked one of my friends, and she remembers talking about it with me, but I drove by it the other day and it’s still standing. Is this some sort of Mandela Effect?

_Good for shows, Horrible for real purposes_

Henry H. ⭐️

Large spaces, no NOOKS and CRANNIES…… Downtown, far too many people…..Only positive is the seats could be decent cover…..Give me NOOKS give me CRANNIES….

_My favorite venue to perform in!_

Zoey L. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I starred in a production of _Godspell_ here this summer. Incredible venue! Everyone I invited said it was great, even though the theater was packed. Oops, guess we were a bit too good 🙊🤣 But this place was very accommodating for the huge crowds we attracted!

_MAMMA MIA!_

Bill J. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love this show!!!

  
  


**Beanies Coffee**

_Latte Hotties!_

Theodore R. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This place was fine (or should I say the barista was ;)) until they added the singing. Took it to a whole nother level! Who doesn’t want to start their day with an absolute babe singing like an angel while she makes your tea? 🤤🤤😍😋 5 stars!

Edit: came back today and WOW. I tipped that Erika chick and she said she wasn’t gonna sing until I asked to speak to the manager. She sang in the end, but she’s just not as nice to look at and the drinks she makes never taste as good. I suggest you fire her and hire someone who does their damn job. Until then, the most I can leave is three stars.   
  


_My Time was WASTED_

Martin B. ⭐️

I ordered a grande caramel frappe in a venti cup with ten pumps of hazelnut, three shots of espresso, no caramel drizzle with whip on top, and it cost $5.50! Already way overpriced, but I was in a hurry, so I let it slide. Then I saw that the sign said “tip for a song” so I thought why not and tipped a dollar and the barista refused to sing! She cussed at me! I told her I would _never_ be back! I never even got my drink! I went to Starbucks even though it was out of my way, so this place made me waste like ten minutes, and I was in a hurry! I have _never_ been treated as rudely as I was at this establishment.

Good

Paul M. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good coffee. Especially when it’s made by Emma. I don't mean anything creepy by mentioning her name, I only want her to get credit for her hard work. Please give Emma a raise, thank you. 

**Author's Note:**

> Lmk if u liked lol. If anyone wants to continue this idea just say so and I’ll make you co creator. Have a good day.


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